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Campus fashion crisis

It’s probably safe to assume that everyone owns a mirror. However, with the way some people step out of the house, it’s also probably safe to assume that not everyone uses them. There are some major fashion faux pas that happen on campus every day. Do these people honestly think they look good, and where are their friends to tell them otherwise?

Girls seem to break the most rules. I understand that it’s Florida, and it’s hot outside, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to show your goodies to the whole world. Miniskirts and shorts are never appropriate. I’m not talking about short skirts. I’m talking about micro-miniskirts: the skirts that you have to pull down every second in order to maintain your dignity, the kind that let everyone in the room see everything no matter how you sit. They’re uncomfortable, a hassle and just plain unattractive. I don’t care how skinny or hot you are, these small pieces of fabric are better worn on a 5-year-old’s doll.

Will someone please explain foam platform flip-flops? Short girls, either accept your height or opt for real heels. Trust me, I understand: You want to be taller — I’m short, too. However, you’re not fooling anyone by trying to camouflage your height with these ugly pieces of Styrofoam.

Everyone would look so much better if they just wore their size. If you have to lie on the bed and struggle with your pants for half an hour to get them to button, chances are they’re too small. Girls who try to disguise their size by buying a size smaller than they really are are actually making themselves look a size bigger. Don’t let the size on the pants determine how you feel; look at what’s in the mirror. Buying the proper size will make you more comfortable and more attractive.

Everyone has mornings where they just roll out of bed and go to class. I’ve done this myself. However, I don’t understand the girls who wear the short cheerleading shorts rolled up three times with a huge T-shirt over them so you can only see their legs. All you have to do is wear a shirt that fits and unroll the shorts once or twice.

Finally, my last gripe for girls is the over-torn jeans. The rugged, torn jean look is great; it’s sexy and rough at the same time. However, if there are more holes than fabric, you’ve taken it too far. Furthermore, if the holes are strategically placed to show a butt cheek or two, it becomes inappropriate. Just leave the tears at the knees and thighs.

Now guys, it’s your turn. Whoever made jean shorts for guys should be banned from the design world forever. Khaki shorts look great on guys, but jean shorts look horrible. The only time guys should wear denim is if it goes all the way to their foot. At the same time, overly baggy pants look stupid. No one wants to see what kind of boxers you have on. When you constantly have to hold your pants up with one hand, they’re too big. I’m all about the loose fit but not to the point where they could potentially fall off.

Muscle T-shirts and cut-offs are made for the gym. Guys should never wear sleeveless shirts in public. I think the name has been tragically co-opted, too. Muscle shirts came about in the ’80s to show off guys’ muscles. So why is it only the super skinny or not-so-skinny guys who wear them? It might not be such a faux pas if guys who had muscles wore them.

Someone should slap Ashton Kutcher for making the trucker hat popular. This trend lasted the summer it came out and died quickly afterwards, yet guys continue to wear them. If you must wear a hat, a baseball cap is the way to go.

This last fashion don’t is for everyone. The LIVESTRONG bracelet meant well at first, but when every store and gas station started selling their own versions of this plastic bracelet, the meaning somehow got lost in the fad. The LIVESTRONG bracelet was started by Lance Armstrong to raise money for cancer. Then all the other cancers started picking up on the trend and making their own; that’s fine. Then somehow it exploded and everyone had to have about five of these cheap plastic circles on both wrists, and it usually wasn’t to raise cancer awareness. Why did this happen? I guess this just shows the power of the herd.

Thankfully, not everyone has succumbed to these fashion don’ts. For the ones who have, please take a good look in the mirror before you walk outside, and really look at what you’re wearing. Girls, make sure your clothes fit and cover the essentials, and guys, throw away the trucker hats and muscle T’s.