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Sexuality: undecided?

I was in the Burger King on campus the other day when the strangest thing happened. I saw a girl and thought, “Wow, she’s hot.”

This is unprecedented for me, since as a homosexual, I tend to ignore the fairer sex. But this freakish mishap got me thinking about bisexuality.

When bisexuals see a pretty girl, it turns them on. When they see a hot guy, it turns them on. I can’t imagine how wracked with sexual thoughts a bisexual person’s mind would be. I have trouble thinking with school, family, guys, money, guys, guys, friends, job and guys — in that order — constantly running through my head. Factor in girls somewhere in there and it seems to me that you’d have a recipe for sexuality-related disaster.

Sexuality used to be simple in the times of the nuclear family. However, as if it weren’t confusing enough between heterosexual and the homosexual, we now have metrosexual (those heterosexual males who are embrace their feminine side), pansexual (people who are attracted to transgendered or transexuals), antisexual (people who skulk around anthills for a date to homecoming), and my personal favorite, bisexual.

By definition, a bisexual person has feelings or attractions mostly physical in nature for people of both sexes. It may seem like there aren’t many people in this category, but that could be because in perceiving the need to choose “gay” or “straight,” one often picks straight as the easiest route.

Bisexuals have been called everything from confused to greedy. A sophomore and closet bisexual whom I shall call Tyler said that people often tell him that his bisexuality is caused by an unawareness of self. “Straight people think gays are going through a phase, and gay people think bisexual (people) are going through a phase,” said Tyler. “But we bisexuals don’t make those judgments because we don’t have to classify ourselves in that way.”

He says he doesn’t feel pressure to fit into one camp or the other because he doesn’t feel the need to carry the banner of either gay or straight. He simply goes with his feelings like anyone else. He does admit, however, that he feels more comfortable in more predominantly gay settings. If you “take a girl out with gay friends, everyone is fine with it; however taking a gay guy out with straight friends, (it) would not always work.” Despite this matter of comfort, he lives most of his life in the straight “world.”

Tyler said that, even though a bisexual person may be attracted to more than one gender, he or she does not need both sexes to be satisfied. “It’s the same whether you like men, women, animals, or trees. You will always have other attractions, but if you are in love, you will stay faithful.”

People don’t just become bisexual, just as they don’t just simply decide they’re gay or straight. According to Dale A. Hicks, the associate director of the Counseling Center for Human Development, “It is perfectly natural for people at some point in their lives to find others of the same sex attractive, but that does not generally make them homosexual or bisexual.” He also said that adolescent experimentation stems more from curiosity than actual attraction, and although young people between the ages of 17-22 tend to experiment with their sexuality, more often than not it is just experimentation.

Although to most bisexuals a gay society seems more accepting, that is not always the case. Oftentimes, bisexuality is a controversial subject in any sexual camp. Jason, a junior and homosexual, said, “Bisexuals are just pretending and cannot face the fact that they are gay.” Surprisingly, this opinion is a popular one within the homosexual society.

Other viewpoints were that you have to worry about a bisexual cheating on you with twice the number of people than normal, and you will always get hurt because bisexuals are both confused and confusing. Being homosexual myself, I find it puzzling how a group of people who fight for sexual freedom could condemn somebody for their sexual choices.

On occasion, bisexuals are looked down upon in the straight world as well. Melody, a junior, said that “I would never date a bisexual guy, because I wouldn’t want to give myself to somebody I didn’t feel was secure enough in his sexuality as I was.” On the other hand Amber, a sophomore, said, “Everybody has a past. I’ve had relationships with both sexes, but I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to judge me based on that.”

So it seems that bisexuals will be faced with opposition no matter which side of the fence they choose to live on. I would have to say, however, that I believe opposition is a necessary part of American life.

We draw so many lines in the sand in regards to race, class, gender and sexuality that sometimes I think we forget that those differences are the very thing that make us all the same. We all have urges, attractions and preferences.

The variations of those feelings are what make us unique.

Whether in the straight world or gay society, whether you are homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or fall anywhere on the sexual spectrum, there are two things you have in common with every other sexual being out there — the capacity to love and the freedom to choose whom to love, whether it be men, women or both.