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The Straight 2 Video Chronicles


Cast: Matt Damon, Casey Affleck and, well, that’s actually it. Gerry’s directed by lauded indie/ mainstream “‘tweener,” Gus Van Sant.

Tagline: The packaging people avoided this ever-exciting tactic, instead opting to ornament the cover with what amounts to nothing more than resume bullet points: From the Director of Finding Forrester and Good Will Hunting. Don’t Bite folks.

Plot: Walking. Where to? No one knows. These guys are in a desert, and they’re walking somewhere. That’s it, just lots and lots of walking. Oh, and some resting too.

Obligatory Cheese Scene: All the walking doesn’t leave room for much. Not even talking. But if you love action-packed shots of walking, this flick’s for you.

Best Line: Upon giving up on the search for this unknown thing, Damon and Affleck repeatedly scream: “F— the thing!” Exhilarating stuff.

The real moral of this story: Van Sant’s attempt at existential, Easy Rider storytelling falls flat on its vacuous face. This film, with its storytelling by way of lavish cinemagraphic landscapes, would serve better as a painting. However, Gerry proves some very valid points including: 1) Matt Damon’s face is not worth its weight in gold, 2) The Affleck family works best when they are quiet and 3) Directorial masturbation is almost always rubbish.