Column: Giving thanks for the little things

Here’s the column that no one will read because everyone is preparing for the holiday weekend. But I have never let not having an audience stop me from expressing my opinions, and I would like to take a moment to reflect on all of the things that I am thankful for this year.

Let’s get the standard thanks out of the way. My parents gave me life, fed and clothed me. So thanks go out to Mom and Dad.My brothers are OK, too. (Even though they deny the beatings they gave me.)

This Thanksgiving, our family is especially grateful because we have a new addition – my nephew Jonathan. He is the most intelligent and the most beautiful child that has ever walked on the face of the planet. And I really don’t like children, so it must be true.I am also thankful for my other family – the people at The Oracle. They listen to my silly stories and don’t balk if I have too much sugar and run around the newsroom screaming.

Aside from my friends and family, there are some other people I will think about when I bow my head to pray before tearing into the bird and stuffing.

I am thankful for that guy who closed down Hartsfield International Airport last week. Not only did he stop air traffic out of Atlanta, he backed up flights all over the country. Why should I be thankful for this goober who ran past security to retrieve his camera bag in the terminal?

Because I will never again have to search for an example of a person who lives by the

“rules-apply-to-everyone-else-and-not-to-me” theory. He is the poster boy for this club.

I also have to give a shout out to the U.S. Supreme Court and to Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris. I think you all know why.

I’ll also think of Paul McCartney because every time I see him, it makes me appreciate John Lennon so much more. Have you heard McCartney’s new song about the World Trade Center attacks? It sounds as if he wrote it in three minutes. He’s singing about freedom and how God gave us this right. Excuse me, Paul, you’re not an American.

Hey, did you know that McCartney was on an airplane in New York on Sept. 11? His plane was grounded on the runway. He was also on a grounded plane out of New York when the American Airlines plane crashed into the Queens neighborhood last week. Coincidence? Maybe someone should check into it.

During the past few months, I think all of us have taken a moment to appreciate how fortunate we are to live in this great country.

Sometimes, I think about life without cable television, nicotine gum and Altoids (curiously strong mints) and I hyperventilate. It must be hell to live in a Third World country.

American life would also not be the same without Diet Coke, but not the stuff with lemon. If we want to put a quick end to the war, just force the terrorists to drink that nasty stuff.

And speaking of the war, I would like to give a sincere thanks to the people serving in our Armed Forces.

So, enjoy your holiday feast and save this column for your friends who are not in school today.

And don’t forget to pause and remember all of the things for which we have to be thankful.