Eye twitches, anxiety attacks and a consistent five hours of sleep became my new normal. 

In just one day, I had consumed a thai tea, two iced coffees, an oolong tea, two unsweet teas and one Celsius. 

But this wasn’t just a one time occurrence, I’m a repeat offender.

Little did I know that caffeine would serve a greater purpose than waking me up for the day.

It would serve as my wake up call. 

This endless cycle of continuous caffeine led to problems that ran deeper than shaky hands and a heightened heart rate. Problems with my anxiety and my sleep became borderline detrimental with my overindulgence in this particular substance.

Caffeine doesn’t discriminate with who it takes as a victim. It’s important to heed my warning, or instead you might not need to read my story, you’ll just live it. 

“The maximum recommended for adults in general is 400 milligrams a day, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to go over that limit with the varying sources of caffeine that are currently available,” said Chighaf Bakour, associate professor specializing in sleep epidemiology at the College of Public Health.

I was typically ending my days with a grand total of around 650 milligrams of caffeine. It’s safe to say I had overindulged.

“​​Coffee would give you that sudden rush. An absorption like this gives you a rush, which is followed by a crash,” said Bakour.

This crash, this pinning feeling of being tired, had begun to define my life. 

With each crash I solved it with another caffeinated beverage. By nighttime, I was so caffeinated that I found myself tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. 

I truly didn’t understand how caffeine impacted my wellbeing until the panic attacks rolled in. 

“It increases your heart rate, your blood pressure, it makes you hyper aware,” said Bakour. “It’s a really bad mix with anxiety because it aggravates the symptoms of anxiety even in students or in young people who have never been diagnosed with anxiety or with a mental disorder.”

Lack of sleep also comes with a list of consequences that couldn’t be fixed with caffeine.

“Disrupting your sleep can lead to effects like increased anxiety, daytime sleepiness, inflammation, and even depression,” said Dominic D’Agostino, a research scientist in the Morsani College of Medicine. “Sleep is a critical factor for our general mental health and our total immune system.”

With all these negative effects, I couldn’t understand why caffeine was such a crutch for me. Then I realized it functions as a mood booster. 

“Our perception of our cognitive enhancement is actually higher than our cognitive enhancement, meaning that we feel confident and that we feel that we did much better on the test than we actually did,” said D’Agostino.

Despite the drawbacks, I would stop at nothing to feel the positive boost that only a caffeinated beverage would bring. I used to joke about having an addiction, until I noticed that the way I defined my day fell on whether I had my daily dose of caffeine. 

“Caffeine can be an addiction. There are many people out there that are aware that they are drinking heavier doses of caffeine even though it’s causing significant impairment or distress for them.” said Aaron Norton, an assistant professor in the Department of Mental Health Law and Policy.

I knew it was time to stop, but after consuming such high levels of caffeine for so long, quitting cold turkey was not an option.

I discovered tea was a source of caffeine that wouldn’t cause so many negative side effects. 

“You get that awake response that you want from caffeine but tea is absorbed slower and more steady without that crash,” said Bakour. “With the addition of the L-Theanine substance means that tea is not going to give you that anxiety response. It actually relieves stress.” 

It’s no secret that caffeine is incredibly accessible on campus from Kahwa to Starbucks to energy drink vending machines on every corner.

With such easy accessibility it’s easy to fall into a cycle in which I found myself. But be warned, once you’ve entered this cycle, I can promise caffeine won’t be there to wake you up.