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The rise of super-grainy-cleavage-selfies

So it’s safe to say that the equation has been solved.

Ladies of Facebook, the way to create the perfect profile picture has been discovered.

It’s sure to generate the most “likes,” and if you follow these steps, you’ll be well on your way to being so shallow, that you will then evaluate how your day has gone based on the number of “likes” you receive.

I’m sure these steps will sound familiar.

Step 1: Take a close up “selfie” photo of your face, but make sure it’s just far enough away from your face to capture your cleavage and cut out your forehead. Who needs those pesky foreheads?

Step 2: Filter it as much as possible — super grainy photos that hide the real you always make for a good “prof pic.”

Step 3 (the final step): For a caption, slap on a deep and meaningful quote (doesn’t need to make sense) and you have yourself what many girls fill their photo albums with.

At this point, you either have a new profile picture, or you read the above steps with a hint of sarcasm — just a hint.

First there was the peace sign with a winky face, then the duckface and now the super-grainy-cleavage-selfie.

It is an epidemic, and in all seriousness, there are girls who do this, thereby covering their true selves, exploiting themselves and receiving attention for the wrong reasons — all reasons that further provoke the men of Facebook into thinking it’s alright to view women as objects because that’s how they brand themselves. The worst part is, women do this without thinking anything of it.

So if you have a Facebook friend whose album is drowning in these types of photos, don’t hit the “like” button.

The only way to stop these attention-wanting users of social media is to take away the attention.

Even the idea of what a “selfie” is defeats the whole purpose of what social media does. It’s intended to connect people.

Think of the thought process that goes into a “selfie.”

“Who wants to see me and my friends or me involved in my hobbies when I can just post my face?”

The “selfie” oozes and promotes shallowness.

A world without these photos will be a good one, and it will make room for posts that actually update one on what’s going on in their friends’ lives — you know, the whole point of Facebook?

Adam Fenster is a senior majoring in mass communications.