Snail mail is dead — or at least that’s what we thought before Covertpigeon.com made an interesting, albeit creepy, entrance onto the Internet.

The website, which encourages users to “send a note anonymously to anyone via traditional mail,” creates printed letters with messages regarding a specific topic or person in the sender’s life. For 99 cents one can compliment, criticize or question the actions of a friend or neighbor and the eight categories make it easy to hide behind an unidentifiable font wrapped in an envelope.

1. Secrets

The secrets section is a volatile one, walking that fine line separating a good friend from a “Pretty Little Liars” type of mystery. While the message of “Your secret is safe with me” seems mild-mannered and well-meaning, “Your secret isn’t so secret” sounds almost threatening and the ultra-ambiguous.

2. Crush

If your nerves get the best of you when approaching that special someone, a generic template may do the trick. The crush section may be the only section aside from “religion” that gives pleasant, non-harsh words that could bring a smile to someone’s face — still followed by a wave of confusion of course.

3. Friends

Some of these messages are better said in person, and the question of “Are you trying to avoid me?” written in an anonymous note seems like the work of a modern day cowardly lion, who shudders at the thought of conflict or conversation with what must be an important friend if they are trying to contact said friend.

4. Neighbors

Because of the close proximity those obnoxious neighbors — apparently without ears — that live above you and blast their music during finals week, this category of mostly rude notes would only make the tension between neighbors worse. These notes cover all the typical problems neighbors cause, from driving too fast in the street, to walking loudly in their apartment, to cleaning up the yard.

The moral of the story is, conflict and compliments are best expressed in person. The author of a person’s thoughts should be that person expressing their own thoughts, not written words with a concealed identity behind them.