For the final paper of the semester, The Oracle has decided to translate 15 weeks of headlines into a format easily understood by young readers. Scan the QR code below and read along to a video montage set to the fall semester ‘rap’-up. I’m no Jay-Z, but what are journalists if not rappers of facts, figures and fascinating stories?
Fifteen million on a new rec center so Bulls can lift weights and exercise better.
Hit the treadmill, pump iron ‘til you drop. Just bring your own towel and don’t wear a tank top.
Poly wanted more than a cracker, so she told mother bird she’d be flyin’ from the nest.
But Mama didn’t think that her baby was ready, so she held on tight sayin’, “Mama knows best.”
“Please!” said Poly. “Your worries are all folly; I’m old enough and ready to catch my own worms.”
After much squawking, Mama finally agreed saying, “I’ll let you leave, but on my own terms.”
Skip to my Lou: It’s a Holtz new era. Bulls looking to the future, moving on from the past.
The Irish looked tough but still weren’t enough as Jerrell Young ripped victory from their grasp.
The Bulls started strong, barely anything went wrong, 4-0 as they headed into Big East play.
From hopes of undefeated to just utterly unheeded, now they need a win tonight just to make a bowl game.
The not-so-Big East started looking to the west as their once respected conference began to unwind.
Their oranges got juiced and their panthers got loose, so the Broncos and the Knights might be next in line.
The tea party paid a visit to T-town. Tuition went up and Gadhafi went down.
Half a million dollars spent so 40,000 scholars can study Xbox in the new game lounge.
On-campus robbery, Rick Scott hates anthropology,
And every single freshman epitomizes scholarly.
Ninety-two million on a building for biology,
Enough to make it pretty, just not to spell it properly.
Baby ducks and food trucks, no one goes to watch the Bucs.
Rays ran out of luck just as Lightning first struck hockey pucks.
Soccer got a new home and look how they’re earning it,
Made the Elite Eight in the NCAA tournament.
Occupy hit Cooper Hall, but nothing really changed at all.
Hipsters sit on benches shouting each and every single fall.
This time it was organized with chants and cries and lots of signs,
Yet no one understood them, so who really is the 99 (percent)?
Common came to campus to kick a freestyle and the mayor stopped by just to chat for a while.
In the Marshall (Student) Center, students lined up single file for a magic Coke machine that was handing out smiles.
But not everything feels good to remember. We mourn those lost the 11th of September.
Justin Inversso was a hero to the end and the Tampa Bay community lost a great friend.
And now we’re at the end of another long year. Thank you to the readers who still know we’re here.
We’ve brought you the news all semester long. Don’t take “The O” for granted ’cause you’ll miss it when it’s gone.
If you want to learn more about the things in the song, click on usforacle.com.
Good luck on your finals, try to finish up strong. See you all in 2012, I hope the Mayans were wrong.