Sexually speaking

Dear Holli,

Question: I have always been curious to try anal sex, but I’m scared because I’ve heard that it hurts. Is this true? If it is, are there any less painful ways to try it?


Naturally, anal sex is a fun way to spice things up in the sack! Be sure to always use lubrication when you are engaging in anal sex because natural lubrication does not occur in this area.

Also, use water-based lubrication. Steer clear of oil-based products such as Vaseline, as it breaks down the latex of the condom.

Although it might hurt the first time, there are a few simple techniques that might be helpful. It might be easier said than done, but try to relax as much as possible. When you tense up, your muscles tighten and this can cause discomfort when initially engaging in the activity. Another way to ease the process is by pushing your body onto his penis rather than having him push toward you. These are just a few suggestions though – you should do what feels comfortable to you.

Enjoy your adventure – I’m sure your partner will!

Dear Holli,

Question: I am a girl who, to put it mildly, has a hardy sexual appetite. Am I a slut? Aren’t girls not supposed to want sex as much as guys?


Well, I want to start off by saying, “You go, girl!” I admire your courage and strength through your journey of discovering your sexuality and becoming comfortable with yourself and your body. Women in our society get stigmatized because of the double standard between male and female sexual relationships. Being empowered with your sexuality comes with great maturity and self-awareness. If you’re going to be promiscuous, make sure you’re aware of your partner’s feelings. If the two of you aren’t on the same page, someone’s feelings could get hurt. Enjoying sex is not a crime and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Love yourself, your body and, okay, that hot guy down the hall.

Just make sure you use discretion and stay safe (Remember the 12 steps to putting on a condom from last issue? If not, check it out at Educate yourself on the use of condoms and the risks involved in being sexually active through either Student Health Services or informational Web sites, such as

Holli Silverman is a double major in Women’s Studies and Sociology at USF. She is also a peer educator for Student Health Services.