Emo music is not OK

The music scene today is divided into two major categories: those who don’t give a #$@% and those who walk around beaten by life. And the music that’s tailor-made for depression is emo.

Emo is short for emotional, and the lyrics to typical emo songs reflect either childhood trauma or trouble landing a chick.

Emo poster band My Chemical Romance will be performing at the Ford Amphitheatre on Sunday, bringing its whiny, white boys-wearing-bulletproof-vests act to Tampa Bay. The band hit it big on the strength of “I Promise (I’m Not Okay)” and its MTV Video Music Award nominated “Helena,” which propelled Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge to sales of more than one million copies. The entire album is spent tackling such hard-hitting issues as romantic trouble, a lack of fatherly attention and the band members’ miserable lives.

Tagging along for the trip is Alkaline Trio, a band that appeared to be different at the start of its career; but with the release of Crimson, music fans learned it was all a clever rouse. What was new and daring with the band was replaced by the usual cliches of bad mainstream rock music. It’s fitting that after disappointing fans with a mainstream record that the band would tour with one of the most overrated excuses for a rock band.

My Chemical Romance has updated the typical emo song formula by playing pitiful, pathetic words against heavy metal guitar chords. This makes the band a bit easier to swallow than the ridiculously cloying Dashboard Confessional.

Emo is actually less a valid form of music than a depressed lifestyle that could double as a very successful ad campaign for antidepressants. As part of this lifestyle, hardcore members adhere to a certain dress code and are overly sensitive by nature. This is because people who listen to emo are supposed to be more in touch with their emotions than others.

The whole touchy-feely society we live in has become a bit much with people taking offense to trivial issues such as a woman’s breast showing during a Superbowl telecast or whether Saving Private Ryan is appropriate to show in primetime. And the emo way surely isn’t the best way.

People aren’t meant to mope or cry constantly over the normal pitfalls of everyday living. It’s not healthy for you and rather annoying to people who surround you when all you can talk about is how miserable you are. Do everyone a favor and check the whiny emo records at the door.