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Ready or not?

Are you ready?

That’s what half of the fans at the Spring Game on Saturday donned: a white shirt with the entering the Big East slogan, with the ‘you’ replaced with the Bulls ‘U’ logo with horns.

Clever, right?

About as clever as Sly Stone’s latest reality show, Who Can Understand What the Heck I’m Saying Anymore?

That’s just sickening. But what about the Spring Game, in which a team chock full of starters could only score 21 points on each other?

Disappointing? Hardly.

Embarrassing should ring through the head of Jim Leavitt.

Supposedly it would have been self-demeaning for the USF football team — and all the glory it’s clinging to from the 7-4 season — to hold its Spring Game on campus at the USF Soccer Stadium.

So it’s an ego trip for the team to head over to its grand home and stare at rows and rows of red — not green — empty seats?

An announced crowd of 3,800 people showed up, which was a figure that had little help from a bicycle pump.

And you thought the Sun Dome was bad.

Who was ready?

People living less than a mile away on W. Ohio Ave. could hear the announcer saying it was another incomplete pass by Anthony Severino, who was filling in for the highly publicized Courtney Denson, the transfer from Auburn.

They were ready to hear it.

Even if there had been more people at this game, they wouldn’t have been ready for this.

Two quarterbacks combining for 173 total yards passing. A record-breaking running back playing less than a quarter, though Andre Hall did the only scoring for nearly 50 minutes of the game, while two runningbacks rushed for less than 100 yards combined.

There’s been more excitement at a Pentecostal church. Even more at a Popsicle stand in Santa Fe.

Weren’t you ready?

Couldn’t you get through the traffic of those terrible, sickly, demented and pathetic highway systems to get to 4201 N. Dale Mabry Hwy.?

There was nothing to be ready for.

Raymond James had never looked so empty. It looked like the largest crowd that Michael Bolton has ever brought in because, you know, some people just can’t resist the Pied Piper.

Ready for this?

The USF women’s basketball team drew more people in its whole season than the Spring Game did. That’s not a hard mountain to climb. Actually, it’s not even the clay hill behind the outfield fence at Red McEwen Field.

The lackadaisical showing by offense — by a team returning many, many players — was yawned at by even those who beat out that 60-degree April weather.

Bravo to you. You guys are ready.

But who wants to be ready for this?

A team that looks like it can barely get that elusive .500 mark in the fall.

“We had a great spring and the guys did a great job,” Leavitt said, even though his team registered less offense than a capture-the-flag team. “When we put all our guys together that we have on one team, I think we have a chance. We really do.”

Do you, coach? Do you really think you’re ready? Shouldn’t you all be more ready than this?

Not too much to get excited about with just a few good plays.

Hall had to be the most excited, though: a two-yard touchdown run on six touches.

“I felt like my spring could have been a little better,” Hall said. “Through training and all, it was probably the best spring I ever had. I’m excited every day. Playing in Ray Jay; I love being inside of Ray Jay.”

Asked if Hall could agree with the Big East slogan, he was more than agreeable.

“Yeah, I can go along with that. I can.”

He was ready.

But really, it actually doesn’t matter if you are ready.

The football team, will they be ready?