Spring Game not so fresh

Thy Bulls fans love the USF football team — let them count the ways.

One-one thousand? Two-one thousand?

58,500? 35,600?

Not even close.

For those who have missed it — by the looks of it, most of you — the Spring Game for the USF football team is this weekend.

The Green and Gold game. The Green and White game?

The Gold and Green game? The White and Green game?

No one knows what to call the thing, not even the athletic department.

It’s a game — that can seem pointless — in which the Bulls’ offense plays the Bulls’ defense.

They’re arch nemeses.

Too bad no one will see it.

The Spring Game wasn’t highly publicized, and it makes one — or, more probably, the 83 people who will be in attendance — wonder.

The Blue and Orange game — aka the Florida Gators’ — had 58,500 fans in attendance. The Blue and White game — aka the Auburn Tigers’ — had 35,600. Reports say they had to open more of the stadium just to accommodate fans.

Raymond James Stadium on Saturday — with a 7 p.m. kickoff for those who are still interested — will be about as crowded as the cheap seats at a Carrot Top show.

Why won’t people go?

Everyone should be excited. The Big East has been said more times in the local area than Michael Jackson’s kiddie fun land on his ranch or Britney Spears’ demented love child.

On Saturday at 4201 N. Dale Mabry Hwy., the Big East will kick off in a less-than-ceremonial fashion in front of a less-than-average crowd.

The average attendance for a USF football game is well below the national average for college football games. OK, subtract that this school has very few alumni who hang around after that fateful day in May, December or August, and tally all the students — including those wide-eyed and green freshmen who should come in droves to football games no matter what the score is — and what do you get?

27,060: the average attendance in 2004.

The enrollment of students at USF is 42,590.

And to top it off, the average attendance at a college football game is 45,704.

So that makes some fans repeaters. There’s a start. It’s good to see a solid base to start the pyramid of fans.

But some should be ashamed of themselves.

First off, those alumni who don’t show up. Come on. It may have been terrible for the four to seven years while you were here, but suck it up.

Athletic Department — get on the ball already.

A commercial on Brighthouse 47 is not great advertising, and unsurprisingly enough, less people saw the ad than will be at the game on Saturday.

You were on the right track on having the Spring Game in the USF Soccer Stadium.

Why in the name of jumping Jim Leavitt did you listen to a certain media person in the Bay Area and have the game at Raymond James?

You should have had it on campus. That’s not embarrassing; it’s a good idea.

It’s strange to see students — in Tampa, no less — walking around without a worry in the world — besides the exams creeping up in the dark corners of Cooper Hall — not knowing or caring that football is coming.

It’s this Saturday!

It’s tough to remember — even though it’s been on the hush-hush thanks to Leavitt. He’s excited about football, but he doesn’t like to share.

Though his players — even the new ones — have higher spirits, especially for the future.

“I think that the Bulls can match (Auburn’s attendance to its spring game),” said quarterback Courtney Denson, who transferred from Auburn this year, but will probably be sidelined on Saturday due to an ankle injury.

Good luck, USF.

It would be nice to see that figure matched, but it will take a lot more than a positive attitude with a slice of humble pie on the side. A miracle, maybe.

More like a prayer.