The Music Fan’s Walk-In Clinic
DIAGNOSIS: History is based upon winners and losers, and you think just because a pop idol has won that all-important popularity contest that they are therefore the best artist.
ILLNESS: Hero-worship … A commonly held belief in our culture tells us we all need heroes, but it’s not true.
SYMPTOMS: T-shirts bearing the hero’s image, often in the context of a date of birth and death, if applicable. Other signs include obsessive libraries of the same hit song, including Pat Boone’s cover of “Hey Ya!” (if that exists), tattoos reading “Only God Can Judge Me,” thin and pretty girls who think they’re fat and ugly and general imitation of ideology, fashion and behavior (hopefully not in the vein of Cobain’s suicide).
PRESCRIPTION: Sonic Youth’s Confusion is Sex/Kill Your Idols, doses best taken in solitude late in the night. The louder the better, so a trip somewhere in the car is advisable. Anagnorisis (recognition achieved by the tragic protagonist of a drama) is due after “(She’s in A) Bad Mood,” followed by cold sweating between “Freezer Burn/I Wanna Be Your Dog” and “Kill Yr Idols.” Treatment should be immediately followed by Bowie’s “Heroes,” especially in cases of prolonged disillusion. If sweating continues, apply Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars followed by the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack or Outkast’s The Love Below, as preferred.
PROGNOSIS: Hero-worship is one thing and admiration is another. The Glam genre confronts heroes with a sense of celebratory humor, which should curb most lingering resentment after the Kill Your Idols disinfectant. All break-ups take time to heal, so tread lightly on your next album; let it speak rather than preach to you.
More Stories
Meet the Team
Oracle EditorProfile
USF gives it away in Memphis 34-33
At the half, a 14-point lead meant USF was on track to win its first conference game in over a calendar year. That energy was kept up even with under five minutes to go when the Bulls were up 33-20. Then USF watched as its lead went from comfortable, to slim, to nonexistent in the […]
Club teams missing competition, friendship due to COVID-19
Under normal circumstances, Grant Nolder, president of the USF flag football team would be preparing for the club’s biggest competition of the year, the Swamp Bowl. The annual tournament, hosted at UF, typically takes place during the fall semester and features some of the best club flag football teams in the country. Winners of the […]
Bulls battle with ECU in OT win
Coach Brian Gregory said Tuesday the Bulls didn’t play complete, 40-minute games in their two losses last week. It’s debatable if they did Wednesday night against East Carolina (11-18, 5-11) at the Yuengling Center, but it was more than enough to put up a 73-68 overtime win. “It’s funny. There were stretches where we played […]
First SG scholarship rewards student leaders
Student Government (SG) launched the first-of-its-kind, merit-based scholarship to students Nov. 5 on USF’s Tampa campus. As a part of Student Body President Britney Deas and Student Body Vice President Travis McCloskey’s platform, Bull S.H.I.F.T., — Success, Health, Innovation, Finance and Tradition — the SG’s Student Leadership Scholarship consists of two merit-based scholarships which will […]
On-campus Jabil institute sparks anticipation from students
A plan drafted on a bar napkin two years ago has now become the USF Jabil Innovation Institute, a multi-million dollar institute combining the College of Engineering and the Muma College of Business. Senior Vice President of Advancement and CEO of the USF Foundation Joel Momberg and Jabil CEO Mark Mondello jotted the idea down […]