The Music Fan’s Walk-In Clinic
DIAGNOSIS: You have a Chan Marshall (of Cat Power), Neko Case (New Pornographers), or Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes) bedtime doll.
ILLNESS: The Lead Singer-Emo Complex leads the average fan-girl or -boy to the misbegotten conclusion that they are the man in the white shirt stopping the figurative tank that is Beyonce/J-Lo.
SYMPTOMS: Wrongly assuming that songwriter duties elevate a hash-brained verbal diarrheic such as Oberst to demigod status, many Emo-lites claim emotional connection to their listening material, yet haven’t the foggiest notion of how derivative their hackneyed lifestyle really is. Considered tersely and with incision, at worst an emo constituent is a cleaned-up hippie with a trust fund and a Prozac bottle.
PRESCRIPTION: With the months remaining on his fame lease, dear Conor may try to sway his devotees away from an open-minded perusal of the musical landscape. All of you under his spell, wrest yourselves free! Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age), Hope Sandoval (Mazzy Star), Tim Gane (Stereolab), Ben Watt (Everything but the Girl), and PJ Harvey are all recommended replacements.
PROGNOSIS: If the Elvis Costello glasses and Hamtaro lunchbox have not left your possession within six days of So Tonight That I Might See ingestion, meditate upon the truth of Glassjaw, Jawbreaker, Piebald and the like comprising a ramshackle fraternity of whiners.
USF gives it away in Memphis 34-33
At the half, a 14-point lead meant USF was on track to win its first conference game in over a calendar year. That energy was kept up even with under five minutes to go when the Bulls were up 33-20. Then USF watched as its lead went from comfortable, to slim, to nonexistent in the […]
Club teams missing competition, friendship due to COVID-19
Under normal circumstances, Grant Nolder, president of the USF flag football team would be preparing for the club’s biggest competition of the year, the Swamp Bowl. The annual tournament, hosted at UF, typically takes place during the fall semester and features some of the best club flag football teams in the country. Winners of the […]
Bulls battle with ECU in OT win
Coach Brian Gregory said Tuesday the Bulls didn’t play complete, 40-minute games in their two losses last week. It’s debatable if they did Wednesday night against East Carolina (11-18, 5-11) at the Yuengling Center, but it was more than enough to put up a 73-68 overtime win. “It’s funny. There were stretches where we played […]
First SG scholarship rewards student leaders
Student Government (SG) launched the first-of-its-kind, merit-based scholarship to students Nov. 5 on USF’s Tampa campus. As a part of Student Body President Britney Deas and Student Body Vice President Travis McCloskey’s platform, Bull S.H.I.F.T., — Success, Health, Innovation, Finance and Tradition — the SG’s Student Leadership Scholarship consists of two merit-based scholarships which will […]
On-campus Jabil institute sparks anticipation from students
A plan drafted on a bar napkin two years ago has now become the USF Jabil Innovation Institute, a multi-million dollar institute combining the College of Engineering and the Muma College of Business. Senior Vice President of Advancement and CEO of the USF Foundation Joel Momberg and Jabil CEO Mark Mondello jotted the idea down […]