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The Straight 2 Video Chronicles

Jackie Chan’s Project A2

Tagline: Who needs one? In a movie starring and directed by Jackie Chan, no one needs to pull the audiences in — they’re already hooked.

Plot: A bunch of corrupt policemen require a Navy officer, Dragon Mao (Mr. Chan himself), to help them out with their problems. Dragon brings with him three lackeys who help him fight crime and relieve tension with jokes and laughter. Who knew dumb people would come in so handy?

Best line: A new woman appears in the company of one of the prominent officials. As a Shanghai native, the official wonders why she doesn’t have an accent. “Do all Scotts and Irish go around in kilts?” she replies. Of course, that seems to be the most natural parallel that a Chinese woman can make. Of course.

Biggest surprise: The movie is actually funny. No, it’s not just because the dubbed dialogue doesn’t match with the lip movements of the actors. For what they are worth, the situations in the film are cleverly devised and should produce laughter from even the most conservative viewers. However, the other 90 minutes of the film will put them back to sleep.

The real moral of the story: Jackie Chan was great before some of the younger readers of this column were even born. And he’d kick theirs, and your, asses any day.