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The Straight 2 Video Chronicles

Chump Change

Tagline: “Fame, Fortune, Cheese and Beer.” A real zinger, huh. This film has so much comedic cheese, you’d have to down a case of suds just to crack a authentic smile.

Plot: Director/ starring actor Stephen Burrows tells a story loosely based on his own experience in “The Biz,” which tries to poke fun at Hollywood’s hilarious hypocrisy and fraudulent atmosphere. However, Burrows is so busy sprinkling forced one-liners, rehashing obligatory “funny” premises and relying on unintentional bad acting for storyline that his film becomes its own excruciatingly bad joke. Burrows also cast Traci Lords as the hometown girl/ love interest; come on buddy, seriously.

Best line: The lines in this movie are so bad that they’re just begging for use in primetime sitcoms. But there can only be one winner: “My grandmother told me I was an idiot-savant, minus the savant part.” Ha ha. Hey, he’ll be here all weekend, folks; and don’t forget to tip your servers.

The moneyshot: I know you want it bad, so here it is: Traci Lords acting her pants off (oops, did I pun?). Lords explaining why the wedding ring she sports doesn’t signify a relationship status: “I gave up on forever a long time ago.” Get your Oscar speech ready, Traci.

The real moral of this story: If you’re going to make a movie making fun of something, here’s a tip: Don’t let your own idiocy exceed that of the subject at which you poke fun.