Stop telling yourself that you can look but can’t touch
The impossible crush — every woman has one, even those you would never suspect. A woman is not truly part of the 21st century until she does, and if she says she doesn’t, she’s lying.
Maybe she doesn’t talk about it often. In fact, she may never have mentioned it to her closest girl friends, but it is there all the same. She will do her best to deny it or change the subject if you bring it up, but the shade of red that invades her cheeks gives her away. Her mother probably would not approve, but that doesn’t stop her. Just thinking about it is enough for her to work up a sweat.
Any guy can fit in here; it depends solely on the girl. The possibilities are endless — from a professor to a big brother’s friend, the soccer team captain to the somewhat nerdy kid who helps her in biology. Some are so amazing no reasonable girl thinks she could ever nab him and others are embarrassing enough for the girl to deny it at all costs.
With the impossible crush, it doesn’t matter how little chance there is for a future together. You will still find yourself keeping a close eye on the unattainable guy, whether he knows you exist or not. Half the attraction to this particular crush is that you believe you can never have him. If you do not allow yourself to see a future, it takes away any danger that may exist when you swoon over him behind closed doors.
With the impossible crush, you no longer have to worry about your friends approving or even knowing he is alive. Instead, this appeal is for your pleasure and needs no one else’s endorsement.
The attraction is often not wholehearted. A girl could lust after the way he gets all the right answers in calculus or over his adorable accent. Maybe everyone who crosses his path swoons, or she’s the first girl to notice him. Whichever it is, a woman with a crush cannot resist stealing peeks at him.
Having such a deliciously insurmountable yearning can be healthy. Sometimes having a crush gives a girl motivation to drag herself out of bed and into a cute outfit for class, even if she plans on paying more attention to how he looks than the day’s lesson. I guarantee attractive TAs have aided more than a few students in developing a sudden interest in a course they would have otherwise dreaded.
Let’s not forget the desirable guy who sits in the front during lecture. A girl may tell herself she will never work up the nerve to approach him, but it won’t stop her from being on time to lecture every day of the semester.
If he’s more of a jock, the seemingly pointless crush may inspire her to hit the gym more regularly. Every girl deserves a little eye candy while making herself into a chiseled goddess. Even if our teams were not rocking the ACC, the stands would still be full every game day with girls full of, um, “school spirit.” Sitting in a hot gym or freezing stadium is nothing compared to seeing sweaty bodies after a match.
The beauty of this situation is a girl can go a whole semester without taking any steps toward a relationship with the object of her obsession and not feel bad about it. Or she can be brave and make small talk with her crush and walk away thinking she’s the most brazen chick to ever call the university home.
So remember ladies, just because you have convinced yourself you can never nab your dream man, it doesn’t mean he feels the same way. You never know; he may be just as nervous about approaching you. Guys are like wild animals; usually they are more afraid of girls than vice versa. Whatever you choose to do, just remember the impossible crush was created for entertainment, so have fun with it!
Lissa Barker, The Diamondback, University of Maryland.