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USF’s faux Quidditch team could blow Slytherin off its Firebolts

USF has had a vast array of capable athletes, and, as a Quidditch summer league coach, I have assembled an all-star Quidditch team comprised of USF graduates. First, a team of chasers had to be assembled. Chasers must be quick but strong, for they must be able to defend themselves. The first chaser picked was former USF basketball standout Reggie Kohn. Kohn, who will not be drafted into the NBA, proved that he could sink those outside shots while giving the rest of the team opportunities with his great passing. Former USF quarterback Marquel Blackwell, with his stature, provides a sense of strength to the chaser squad, while his accurate passing is sure to put some points on the board. The last piece to the chaser puzzle comes with former USF softball outfieldershortstop Renee Oursler. Her agility and gun-like arm impresses any Quidditch coach, and she can put the quaffle through the goal before anyone is able to blink.

After setting the offense, my all-star team needed an equally powerful defense. A beater needs to be strong enough to hit the bludger and repel it, but at the same time they need to be accurate enough to direct that bludger at an opposing player. The first beater I picked was former USF baseball catcher Jeremy Earle. Earle, who had a chance to play in the majors but later decided to play Quidditch, was not afraid of getting close to an apparently deranged bludger. At the same time, Earle has enough strength in his swing to send that bludger zooming toward an enemy broom. To complete the duo, I picked former USF tennis player Nadim Naser, who backhands bludgers with confidence.

The keeper must be fast, agile and tough since the quaffle is made out of thick leather. I think Troy Perkins is the best keeper I have ever seen. Perkins, who left USF early to pursue a career in Quidditch, is plenty fast to cover all three goals and has the strength to stop the quaffle in its tracks.

And who would be the quick and crafty seeker? Whoever it was, he or she needed to be light and swift as well as aerodynamic. Former track star Sasha Springer, after much deliberation, was picked as seeker. Springer currently holds the record for the 55m, and the team thinks that they will win plenty of matches with her in the position.

A fantasy? Yes. But who could pass up on an opportunity to play the world’s most fantastical game.