What are today’s musicians talkin’ about, anyway?

At the age of 6, Mozart mastered his first musical composition. Later, he went on to compose music that dumfounded the people of his time.

Most artists today write music that is just plain dumb.

Many may think that there are better songs out there other than “Dies Irae” and the “Marriage of Figaro” … like the precise compositions of “Hell Yeah” or “Bitch Please II.”

It’s true that they’re really catchy and fun to listen to. But what’s wrong with getting down with the mad skills of the Florida Orchestra?

So why then is it that the only artists receiving any popular praise are hot Pop Tarts burnt out all over the radio stations? Is it because the music is enveloped with intricate and bone-sizzling pieces of harmony? Or, does it just sound tight blasting through two twelves in the back?

It’s not that most musicians don’t have any talent. Rap songs about Cadillac grills, punk-wannabe songs about break-ups and pop songs about (what are they about, anyway?) do take some progression of thoughts similar to Mozart’s talent … when he was 2-years-old.

No matter, these contemporary artists have been named geniuses. Geniuses of what? Knowing how to target a young audience with cheap music about expensive Escalades?

Genius is being able to compose your first musical composition when you’re 6-years-old in half an hour, not being able to slap together the same old sing-song in 20 minutes where the main inspiration was “In da Club.” Sorry, but that ain’t even worth 50 Cent.

These songs are simply designed for the teeny-bopper generation to move up the charts, as well as the profits.

Chopin, a famous Polish composer, didn’t care about getting the No. 1 spot on the TRL countdown. Sure, he lived in the 1800s and there was no MTV, but if there were, Chopin wouldn’t care. He’d be too busy producing and performing melodies of great difficulty before he could even write.

He wrote diverse pieces swimming with sweet and soft sonata violins to the thunder of exploding tuba tones … hardcore, huh? So what does that say about music now, where the only variation between songs are lyrics about Gangstas and another one about Wankstas?

In the old days, music was just about music. Songs had nothing to do with looks, style or glamour, or the mean streets of Brooklyn and Detroit.

Beethoven was poor and deaf, but you didn’t hear him complaining about his contemporary ghettos while sippin’ on Cristale. Mozart was into drinking and a whole lot of lovin’, but it didn’t seem to progress through his music. What would his piano classics sound like if right in the middle he yelled, “Holla”?

It used to be that rappers actually rapped about real issues. It used to be that rock and pop weren’t played on the same radio stations. Many used to appreciate the soul-soothing stream of violins and pianos, not just off-da-rope turntable skills.

It’s unfair to say that all artists nowadays have no musical talent — as long as they’re not compared to Beethoven, Haydn and other “No Limit Soldiers” of classical music.

But why listen to me? Flip the switch to WUSF 89.7 and judge for yourself. See, it can’t be that bad — it kinda looks like 98.7.

Contact Lukasz Sokolewicz at oraclescene@yahoo.com