Advice to get you through the year

Hey, there are a lot of you out there. This is, after all, the largest freshman class in the history of USF.

This week, there are 3,700 freshman wandering aimlessly, each clutching a bright yellow bookstore bag in one hand and a campus map in the other. I see your enthusiastic faces with those sparkling eyes looking toward promising futures. I see your shell-shocked expressions as you drown in a sea of occupied parking spaces. I see the anguish as you get lost in the labyrinth also known as the Bookstore.

I know this is all new and exciting, but the first few days of college can be an intimidating experience. I know that young lady in the Marshall Center who was dragging her flip-flop clad feet, while she yakked on her cell phone about how she did not know where her 2 p.m. class was located, was a bit surprised after I informed her to move it or lose it. Though I may appear unsympathetic to the plight of the lost freshmen who invade my personal space ? I do feel your pain.

So, because this is my last semester here at USF, I would like to impart some sage words to all of you new Bulls.

You know the basics ? go to class, don?t stay up too late, don?t take the elevator to the second floor if you are physically able to walk a flight of stairs. (Sorry people, I can?t let it go.)

But there are some things your advisers just won?t tell you.

First, don?t ever utter the phrase: ?It?s not fair.? Now, with parking concerns, registration snafus and professors who expect you turn in your homework on time, there will be some frustrating moments. But life is not fair, and there is a cold, cruel world out there that will beat you like a dead dog if you don?t learn how to deal with conflicts.

Also, your wardrobe says a lot about you. Ladies, please don?t wear tube tops, short-shorts or anything plastic to class. This is not appropriate attire for school, unless you are attending the University of Nebraska Avenue. Plus, even if you are a skinny-minnie, people will whisper behind your back, ?I see London, I see France, is she even wearing any underpants??

And on the note on being thin and young. Enjoy it now. You are not going to be 18 forever. I would cut off my right arm if I could squeeze into a size 10 pair of jeans.

I know the fashion advice for the fellows will not be popular, but guys, please don?t wear your baseball caps in the classroom. This is for your own good. My grandfather wore a hat nearly every moment of his life. He also poked strangers with his walking stick and called everyone ?Paco.? Do you really want to end up like that?

Since there are so many of us sharing the campus it is important we respect each other. So remember as you are driving down Maple Drive, please turn down the car stereo. Just because it’s your favorite song doesn’t mean it’s mine.

Another tidbit of info. Be nice to the university employees. They may not give you your grades, but the university would come to a screeching halt without them.

So, enjoy your stay at the USF resort. You can learn much and have a great time. I know I have.

Ann Norsworthy is a senior majoring in mass communications and is The Oracle Senior Staff