Stranger things have happened.
But that’s what’s great about baseball.
No matter how many games you see, how many swings are taken, how many balls are chased down, there’s always something new to entice — to entertain — you.
Hence, with MLB gaining speed in its fourth week — with a little help from no NHL Playoffs — there are a few things that seem amiss.
Things that shouldn’t be happening.
Baseball has entered Bizarro World, where players put gloves on their feet and jock straps on their heads and other random equipment where it doesn’t belong.
All right, that was a night at the strip club for the Washington Nationals, but you get the picture.
Things are backwards, inside out. Different, but somehow still good, still intriguing to watch.
First off, it snowed in Detroit, forcing the postponement of two games against the Cleveland Indians.
Strange, but what makes you do a real double-take is the skinny guy doing the catching for the Tigers. His jersey says Rodriquez, the program says his nickname is Pudge, but about the only thing pudgy about Ivan Rodriquez now is his mother.
The Dodgers are in first place over San Francisco and San Diego out west. They can hit, they can pitch and for some reason, Jeff Kent threw out his George Strait tape — he claims CDs are too high tech — and has been listening to The Game since the start of Spring Training.
In other news, Milton Bradley just signed a big contract with the Parker Brothers for a cool 50 million dollars. Just in time for Christmas, he’ll be releasing a board game called Angry, Angry Ballplayers, where you play as the heads of either Bradley, Red Sox designated-hitter David Ortiz, Tigers designated-hitter Dmitri Young or former Royal George Brett, as their faces get redder the more you hit their head.
Pine tar for Brett sold separately.
In an astounding turn of events — not too astonishing, this is Bizarro World — excommunicated major leaguer Pete Rose is reinstated by MLB commissioner Bud Selig to coach the expansion team founded in Las Vegas.
In a press conference held outside the Miller Brewing factory in Milwaukee, Selig stated, “He just seemed like the right man for the job. Plus he gave me 100-1 odds on the 2006 All-Star Game.”
Pete Rose accordingly accepted, saying, “It is a great honor to not be doing Maaco commercials any longer. I bet you I would be back and I won. I beat the spread of 15 years. Now I must be leaving. I have a reservation at the Bellagio.”
Ted Turner announced the making of a new channel just for Braves games ,called TBS2. Its slogan: We’re southern and better than you.
In related news, a 30-minute segment starring Atlanta pitching coach Lee Mazzone and rocking chair, and of course, reruns of Friends, will be aired.
Yankees monster/freak/pitcher Randy Johnson is smiling. George Steinbrenner has lifted the hair and shaving dress code for the Bronx Bombers and now Johnson is not only growing back his mullet, but Derek Jeter is growing a beard — while Johnny Damon has shaved — and Joe Torre now has a fu manchu mustache.
Roger Clemens and Mike Piazza have made up. Since the infamous Subway Series in 2000 between the Mets and the Yankees, the legendary pitcher and catcher, respectively, have been seen holding hands on the beach, at the movies on a “man date” seeing Fever Pitch and having a double date at Pedro Martinez’s house with Theo Epstein.
And Fever Pitch — this Bizarro season, at least — has become the highest-grossing sports movie ever made, after the ending was changed to where Drew Barrymore gets a fatal disease but at the last minute is cured by a strange alien that looks remarkably similar to Miguel Tejada.
The season is young; younger than the Devil Rays pitching staff, who is fighting the Red Sox more than the Yankees. Supposedly the Beantown World Series heroes confused the Devil Rays for the Tampa Yankees.
But with the early season slowly making its way to October — and the annoying voice and dyed eyebrows of Tim McCarver getting louder and louder — just gets stranger and stranger.
Welcome to Bizarro World. Hope you hate your stay.