Cast: Jake Busey, Carla Gugino (the lowly beginnings of the mom from Spy Kids), Gerald McRaney (Major Dad back in action)
Tagline: This California vacation turns into the road trip from hell (First of all, it’s not a vacation — they’re moving; and second — it’s Major Dad, it’s been hell to begin with).
Plot: On their way to California, a family of three is sabotaged by a renegade motorcycle gang (oh, now you see how clever the title is). And when the sexy and dangerous leader of the gang, Jake (Jake Busey, who didn’t have to stretch his mind to remember his character’s name) kidnaps daughter Leann (Gugino), Major Dad goes all the way to Mexico (deceiving the law and drug lords — oh, yes, arbitrary at its best) to rescue his little girl.
Obligatory Cheese Scene: The family stops at a motel owned by a pair of beatniks that take (oh, no!) nude photos and like the ganja. The couple, under an obvious influence of mind-altering substances, “lures” the mom and daughter into their apartment for a night of, unfortunately, no nudity and not even one fattie. After all, this made-for-TV movie must remain PG-13.
The Moneyshot: Major Dad goes Kill Bill on Jake’s ass before even Kill Bill was thought out. And then he storms out into the Mexican landscape.
The real moral of this story: Don’t mess with Major Dad.