New & Noteworthy for the week ahead

A Christmas Carol: The Musical
Dec. 4 — 7/ Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center/ $25.50 – $15.50

Here’s a news brief for all you theater producers out there: Transforming a classic story into a musical is now punishable by death. But seriously, Tiny Tim looks way more authentic in a pauper’s jacket and wooden walking stick then in a pair of sparkly tights. Bah humbug.

97X’s Next Big Thing
Dec. 7/ Coachman park/ $25

Want to see the next batch of bands destined to ruin popular music? Your wish is 97X’s command. While radio listeners might beg to differ, most snooty music critics (who, me?) would relegate these bands — A.F.I., Hoobastank, The Ataris, Fuel and, of course, the evil Dashboard Confessional — to the vacuous MTV crap bin. The critics would’ve hit the nail on the head. The show is all ages, but no one this side of grade school should be caught dead there.

Chris Rock
Dec. 6/ Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center/ $59.50 – $37.50

Aside from starring in some of the worst films of the last decade, this guy is still damn funny. Rock’s comedic assessments of black and white cultures make for some of the best stand up since ol’ Richard Pryor. Opportunities to see Rock like this may be fewer and further between when the Head of State 2s and Lethal Weapon 9s start popping up on the silver screen.