Rasheed with the guarantee

The term “Guaran-sheed” will likely be a fixture in Webster’s next year after the bold statements of Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace.

For the third time in two years, Wallace has guaranteed a victory and the Pistons have responded in dominating fashion.

Last season, he guaranteed a victory against the Indiana Pacers in the Eastern Conference finals and the Pistons promptly retorted with a victory. Against the Pacers again this season the Pistons were trailing 2-1. Wallace told reporters that Detroit would definitely head back to Motown with the series all tied up. Another guarantee, another Detroit victory.

So when Detroit flopped in Game 5 against the Miami Heat, losing by double-digits, it was only fitting that ‘Sheed would guarantee another victory. Keep hitting the well until it’s dry, right? Wallace played his part, scoring 11 points and nine rebounds against the Heat on Saturday en route to a 91-66 annihilation of Miami.

At this rate, Wallace might as well go ahead and guarantee every victory. Detroit would be on its way to an undefeated season. He’s got more foresight than Miss Cleo sans tarot cards. But this begs the question: Should anyone expect any less from Wallace?

Wallace has always been known for his brash behavior. Any fan of the NBA should know of Wallace’s well-documented technical foul record. Every time there is a slight chance for a bad call via the referees, Wallace is all over them. Parents better hope their children can’t read lips, because their offspring will have a broad and vulgar vocabulary thanks to Wallace.

Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals is this evening in Miami. The status of Heat superstar Dwayne Wade is still up in the air and his replacement, Rasual Butler, couldn’t even come close to the production that Wade brings to the Heat lineup.

If Wade can’t go, the Heat will be without the heart and soul of their team. Shaq is still a dominant presence inside, but the deep thigh bruise that caused him to miss multiple games against Washington is still hampering him. The youth and inexperience of Miami’s backcourt should aid Wallace.

Wallace, however, must play an integral role on offense to keep the Pistons alive. In the three Detroit losses, Wallace has averaged 10 points per game. In the three victories, he’s averaged 17.

No word from Wallace yet as to the outcome of Game 7, but the Pistons will have to come out in full force to take down Miami at home.

This is guaranteed: There will be havoc in South Beach tonight.