For the sake of the kids, keep your pants up

The sight made me jump out of my seat and yell expletives. As I clicked to read a story on with a headline: “Naked men bare all for their local schools,” a disturbing photograph of 60-and 70-year-old partially naked men appeared on my monitor.

The men stood with their saggy bodies leaning over what appears to be a pig’s trough while holding their calendar photos.

But what’s more disturbing is the calendar of naked senior citizen males will be sold online to help raise money for local schools in Junction City, Oregon.

The article describes Mr. November as a 53-year-old mushroom hunter who is crouching down “to cut down some especially delectable fungus.” The man pictured was also quoted as having said it felt “unnatural” to pose nude before a male photographer.

What seems even more unnatural is a group of senior citizen men posing naked for elementary schools. It’s hard to even say “they mean well,” because no adult male should be stripping his clothes with the mind set that “it’s for the children.”

Apparently the school district is desperate for money because it lost three teachers, and programs such as art, music, gym classes and field trips have been cut because of the tight budget year.

A calendar that sells for $17 and features a man in his 60s standing in a creek with nothing but a banjo doesn’t seem like a feasible profit maker. Though one 80-year-old lady was quoted in the article saying she wanted three copies.

But even if it did bring in a large sum of cash, are parents supposed to feel proud that these old men were posing naked for the sake of children? I’d like to know how parents in Oregon explain that to their children. Imagine parents telling their kids they can take art class again next year because, thankfully, some senior citizen posed naked for their school.

Meanwhile, the local Wal-Mart in Oregon is probably hiding magazine covers like Cosmopolitan with U-shaped blinders, all for the sake of “protecting the children” from offensive material such as a belly button. That is if this town even has a Wal-Mart.

The men who belong to Long Tom Grange, a social association of farmers, are said to be the first to strip their clothes for public education. Let’s just hope they’re the last.

Raising money for school kids by selling photos of naked senior citizens when pedophilia has been continuously in the news during the last couple of years is highly questionable.

One of the men who will be featured in the calendar was a former county commissioner and is now a sheep rancher. The 70-year-old man will soon be famous for posing nude on his tractor.

You would think a former county commissioner would have better fund raising ideas. But the town claims that they cannot make enough money from a bake sale and that they have done plenty of jogging marathons. Teachers have also sold their blood and auctioned off rights to hunt for buffalo and antelope on their property. I can see that people of this town enjoy the outdoors. Maybe they could sell fruit, vegetables or even land, which usually will produce valuable profits. They seem to have ample amounts of land and time in Junction City to allow them to think of other fund raising tactics. Hold a car wash, or tractor wash.

Anything. But please, keep your pants on.

Grace Agostin is a senior and is The Oracle’s associate editor.