One of Five Stars

The new gag-me-with-a-spoon-?cause-I-just-wasted-$7 movie ?Legally Blonde? is just another rendition of the beloved classic tale of the blond valley girl and her relentless pursuit of acceptance for her nonexistent intelligence.

Elle (Reese Witherspoon) is the extremely well-liked president of her school?s sorority. When her boyfriend, Warner (Matthew Davis), decides to go to Harvard and dump her for selfish reasons of status, she decides to attempt the unthinkable ? apply to Harvard herself to get her ?Sugar Bear? back. And can you believe it? Her valley girl charm and, mainly, the way she fills out a skimpy bathing suit, catapults her headfirst into the prestigious university.

What follows is nothing but a predictable scenario following a basic formula: an out-of-place girl who everyone thought was lacking cerebral capacity shatters the mold to the total astonishment of those around her ? except for, of course, the audience.

There seems to be the popular theme of ?don?t judge a book? in the movie by showing that, aside from having all the fun, blondes can also succeed in law ? what a heartwarming proposal. But the storyline shoots itself in the foot by showing Elle succeed only through such things as her extensive knowledge of perms ? a far cry from pure Harvard intellect.

The story actually promotes the idea that blondes really are just pretty shells, while the success of this one in particular was purely coincidental.

As if middle-school humor wasn?t enough to drag ?Legally Blonde? through the mud, toward the end, laughs are replaced by sexual harassment. Please, just stick to the basics! Is it not devastatingly clear that this type of film should steer clear of profound comments?The grand stinkiness of the film was aided, by bad, forced acting. None of the actors showed the kind of depth necessary to pull off the film?s attempt at balancing humor and seriousness.

Bottom line: ?Legally Blonde? should be ?legally banned? from theaters.

It?s a tangled mess of bad acting and bad story ideas, and is so predictable it hurts.

Adrial Dale can be reached at adrial@email.unc.edu.

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