Genshaft’s dodgeball team victorious

A team of University administrators led by USF President Judy Genshaft defeated an all-star team of physically powerful student athletes in a dodgeball game Saturday afternoon.

Although the game was slower and less brutal than earlier matches that went on throughout the day (where it was commonplace for students to get hit in the head by high-velocity balls), Genshaft and her team came out victorious.

Before the start of the game, there was much speculation about the outcome of the match, with both teams and spectators talking adequate amounts of trash.

“The cream of the crop are going to pummel them,” USF Media Relations coordinator Jacqui Cash said.

“It’s going to be like lambs at the slaughter,” USF Chief Financial Officer Carl Carlucci said.

USF student body President Maxon Victor also said the team of University administrators should be wary because the students on the opposing team were angry about the prospect of having to pay more for college next year.

“They’re going to let loose on the president’s team,” Victor said. “They’re upset about various increases that have been implemented this year.”

Administrators were allowed to start the game with all the balls in their possession. Two administrators went out early after balls they threw were caught by the opposing team.

Victor also went out early after pushing two USF officials up to the front lines.

At one point, Victor pressured Carlucci from the back corner of the court, forcing him to release an unsuccessful toss at the opposing team.

Seconds later, Carlucci was pinned by a ball thrown by Airs Williams, a member of the men’s basketball team.

But most players on the opposing team took it easy on their elders and let them get away with nearly everything.

“The problem was the administrators set up their own rules. We didn’t really know what was going on,” Williams said.

Players were surprised when Genshaft charged the opposing team and grounded a ball before she ran out of bounds.

Genshaft was not supposed to play in the game due to a broken wrist she sustained after falling off a ladder while picking grapefruits from a tree. She then opted to fill in as a coach for her team.

A couple minutes later, she ran to the opposing side of the court and snuck up behind Williams, pegged him from behind.

“That was a nice little strategy,” Williams said.

USF Chief of Staff Cindy Visot ended the game by hitting women’s basketball player Sharon Cambridge.

The USF team was then awarded a commemorative green dodgeball for Saturday’s win.

“It just goes to show that the trustees can hold it down,” Victor said.