“What the hell!” I screamed into my computer monitor. “UMT stands for University Mall Theater? Class at the mall?

“Would someone please tell me who did this?” I yelled at my roommates.

Actually, it was my fault entirely. I knew exactly what I was doing when I registered for classes three months ago. I just couldn’t get the 30-seat American national government class on campus. But thankfully 300 seats were available at good ol’ UMT.

For years I laughed at other people’s unfortunate class schedules, and until Sunday evening, was fairly certain I would become one of those elite seniors who could say they’ve never had to take a class at University Square Mall.

I also thought I’d never be part of another group – that band of unfortunate souls who are pressured into making it back to campus in under 15 minutes, the amount of time I have before my next class starts on campus.

On the first day, my mall class let out 30 minutes early. I figured I’d have no problem getting a spot in the parking garage at 10:30 a.m. When I got there, I began to ponder how long I could wait for a spot in a Jeep Wrangler without a functioning air conditioning system. I bailed as quickly as possible, thrusting my hand out the window and trapping fresh air into my car like a hummingbird.

Stuck in traffic on Maple Drive, I headed to my only remaining safe-hold, the Sun Dome.

“Hah! Nice try, but you should have went their first!”

I settled on a remote parking space off Sycamore, behind the intramural sports area.

At this point I was pouring sweat, and knew it was only a matter of time before my shirt would become completely saturated. I threw caution to the wind and continued on a power walk straight to the Mass Communications building.

I arrived in class 10 minutes late looking and ridiculous. It took the entire class time to dry.

After all this, why don’t I just drop one of the two classes and try to get into another one? Because my Bright Futures scholarship only lasts one more year, and I’d like to graduate in less then 6 years.

Heck, maybe I wanted to keep money in my wallet for a change.

But I won’t be able to do that when I’m wandering through the mall on my way to class. Now, since I’ll be there twice a week, I can squeeze in some Christmas shopping.

Shouldn’t USF make off-campus class locations more noticeable on Oasis? I might have been able to save myself, had the registration database on Oasis provided me with this pertinent information. But for now, I’ll stick it out.

And for all of you who have something negative to say about the mall: Watch it! That’s my school you’re talking about.

Ryan Blackburn is a seniormajoring in mass communications.