Its 3 a.m. Your body is twitching and the nervous tick in your eye has just gone into overdrive.
Parked in front of your television, you scan channel after channel looking for something decent to watch as you sift through the infomercials. Amid the Oxyclean ads and exercise shakes, you stumble upon ESPN Classic.
Kordell Stewart is dropping back; he has nowhere to go. Stewart chucks up a long bomb toward the end zone. Your heart skips a beat as the ball drops into the hands of the unknowing wide receiver. Colorado has won the game in the Big House.
For a Michigan fan, watching this play is like going to the dentist. But for all the other football nuts out there, watching this brief moment of the gridiron is like soothing a sore muscle.
The twitching has stopped momentarily, and you’re not ticking as much as before, but it’ll be back. These small doses of games past are only quick fixes for the real thing.
It’s March, and there is no football.
The five-month limbo has begun for the die-hard NFL fan. There is seemingly no alternative to America’s new past time.
I have no interest in watching Major League Baseball this season. Besides baseball being chock full of steroid controversy, one of the greatest stories came to a conclusion last season: The Red Sox won the World Series, ending more than 80 years of suffering.
Boston fans don’t have anything to complain about. (See also–three Super Bowl wins in four years) The only remaining curse in baseball is the curse of the goat, while Cubs fans will be, well, Cubs fans.
Washington D.C. has baseball again, but they’re still the same old Expos.
The bottom line is that baseball is not only boring, but salaries are too high. Small ball teams like the Devil Rays don’t have owners like George Steinbrenner, who are willing to give their soul for a World Series.
The NBA season is in full swing, in case you forgot, because I know I did. The NBA is pretty obscure these days. Ratings are still down, and while the balance has shifted somewhat back to the Eastern Conference, most Western teams — the upper echelon teams — won’t be broadcast in Tampa till 10:30 p.m. because we’re not in the Pacific Time zone. Plus, only two cable networks play the games during the week.
You have to get lucky and switch to ABC at the right time to get a solid match-up.Besides, the main draw of the NBA in the past was the dominant player.
The NBA hasn’t been the same since the Jordan-era Chicago Bulls. The L.A. Lakers tried to match that dynasty, but crybaby Kobe Bryant had to be No. 1 in the City of Angels.
Our only solace before the NFL Draft is March Madness. But even when I’m filling out my bracket, I’ll still have the No. 5 pick on my mind.
Cadillac or Mike Williams?
I’m already sweating and twitching.
So for diehard fans like myself and others, the insomnia has set in. And the only cure isn’t shipped until August.
Pray for us.